Mr. Caramel

I know this is supposed to be the "Rio Stories" blog, but I´m currently in Bahia and cannot resist adding a few tidbits from here in the northeast. I´ve had a fantastic week already, first in Salvador, with a great New Year´s with my dear friends Tanya & Dan from Portland, and then a wonderful couple days with Aileen & Daniel (from Seattle).

But now I´m in Praia do Forte, one of my absolute favorite places to come for pure relaxation. Safe, beautiful, enchanting, peaceful, a ridiculous amount of bikini stores, and baby sea turtles! What more can you ask! (I also found the best ever hostel - the Albergue at Praia do Forte. The dorms are a bit crowded, as is normal for dorms, but the private rooms are highly recommended and are a great bargain for single travellers - 100 reais for your own spacious room, en suite!)

To get to Praia do Forte you first go to the bus station in Salvador, spend twenty minutes searching for the infinitestimal Linha Verde booth on the second floor, which is surrounded by several dozen other bus companies that you´ve never heard of that go to innumerable towns you´ve never heard of. At the Linha Verde booth, you buy your ridiculosly cheap 9-real ticket for the 1.5-hour ride to Praia do Forte. Then, if you´re me, you futz around in the bus station for a while, buying magazines and sandals and cafe com leite and tiny little pastries. Then you sit on a bench with everybody else and discuss how the Linha Verde bus is running a little late (this has been the routine every time I´ve gone to Praia do Forte). Finally it arrives, and you all pile on and find your seats. It´s totally safe and comfortable bus, a bit old and worn maybe, but cushy chairs and quite comfortable.

And it is a fascinating ride. It´s an hour and a half, and the first half takes you through endless miles of the city of Salvador - poor areas, rich areas, strips of stores of all sorts of things ( "Emperor of Roof Tiles!").

The bus makes several stops in Salvador, and there seems to be an agreement that various candy, sandwich and water vendors can hop onto the bus and peddle their wares for a few stops, as long as they don´t take a seat.

Most of these vendors call out their goods with a sing-song chant that can be positively mesmerizing. The style can range anywhere from a young teenager, new at the game, asking timidly "Sandwiches? Sandwiches? Fresh tuna sandwiches that my mother made?" to a bolder ,more experienced fellow belting out "WAAAAAATER! Cold cold cold WAAAAAAAAAA-TERRRRR!"

But my favorite is a fellow that I call Mr. Caramel. I remember Mr. Caramel from both my other trips to Praia do Forte, and to my delight he hopped on my bus this time too. He bounded on with a HUGE two-foot-high sack of individually wrapped caramels, and launched immediately into a forceful speech:

"DEAR gentlemen dear ladies dear friends! Old people, young people and children! Dear people of all ages! May I call your attention to a magnificent buying opportunity! I have for you today an incredible, spectacular, truly delicious treat! A deliciousness that you will not believe! A deliciousness of genuine quality, CARAMEL, COATED IN CHOCOLATE! Yes, each of these magnificent caramels, is coated on one side in the very highest quality chocolate, and each is INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED! And each of these caramels is just TEN CENTAVOS! - Brigadomig - [here I had held out a ten-centavo coin, and he´d smoothly pocketed it and given me a caramel and said his shortened version of "Obrigado, amiga" - thank you, friend] This opportunity is extraordinary, I know! And I thank you, in advance, from the bottom of my heart, because - Brigadomig - please know that in buying a caramel, you are truly assisting me and my family in our journey through life. I am a worker, a hard worker, trying - Brigadomig - trying to make an honest living by selling this MAGNICENT CARAMAL, COATED IN CHOCOLATE, of the VERY HIGHEST QUALITY, to lovely people such as yourselves, and by buying a caramel you are - Brigadomig - you can know that you are supporting an honest man´s family. Brigadomig - "

He went on in this vein for a good ten minutes. Like I said, it was positively mesmerizing. As he passed out of view behind me I heard an increasing amount of "Brigadomig"s peppering his sales patter, indicating he was making a good number of sales. When he´d worked his way to the back of the bus and then worked his way all the way back again up to the front, he finally fell silent.

The entire bus was silent now - all the conversations had stopped - except for the crackling of everybody opening all their little caramel wrappers. Crinkle, crinkle, crinkle, all throughout the bus. Everybody was focused on the little caramels. I unwrapped mine, and I ate it, and it was

POSITIVELY DELICIOUS.

What was especially delicious was that it was COATED WITH CHOCOLATE.

It was a deliciousness of genuine quality!!! Just as advertised. Mr. Caramel indeed is an honest man.

After a pause to allow us all a moment to relish our delicious caramels, Mr. Caramel turned to face all the passengers again, and launched into a new speech - this one an evangelical sermon about Jesus Christ. I´m not the most religious person in the world (understatement) but this sermon genuinely moved me. First off, a large portion of the bus was getting involved ("And who is the name of this wonderful person who can help you so?" said Mr. Caramel. "His name is JESUS!" - from the far back of the bus.) He eventually started singing a hymn and most of the bus joined right on in singing, the woman behind me belting it out with particular vigor.

And secondly, of course, I can certainly see how Christianity´s message of hope and love and peace must be a positive message for many people here, in the poor and dangerous cities of Brazil, and the even poorer towns that are further out.

As the bus drew up to another bus top, Mr. Caramel finally wrapped up with: "And peace to all! God bless you all! AMEN!" and the whole bus shouted "AMEN" and he hopped off.

The woman in the seat behind me kept quietly singing the hymn, under her breath, for the next several minutes, as we zoomed along the sunny highway out of the city of Salvador and into the beautiful, palm-lined, sunny, hot, and achingly poor coastal towns of northeastern Brazil.