Os Niveis

I've been away from email again - just switched apartments and now I am crashing with a friend in Botafogo who does not have internet in her apartment. So, apologies for the lack of blog posts. I might not be able to catch up till I am out at Chapada Diamantina in Bahia later this week... (Because that's exactly why you take a plane ride and then a 6 hr bus ride to a remote beautiful national park full of gorgeous hiking trails: to spend all your time on your laptop holed up in your pousada writing blog posts. Right??)

Anyway - last Saturday I went scuba diving at a little town east of Rio with two friends, my dear rock-climbing friend Andrezza, and a friend of hers, a professional circus performer called Vera. Vera had just recently finished a full year's tour of the United States in a high-end travelling circus, where she performs aerial acrobatics - she's one of those people who twirl around, high above the ground, on long lengths of fabric.

We'd only just begun the scuba day when Vera said something under her breath that got Andrezza doubled over in stitches. Turned out Vera had referred to our handsome scuba instructor as "Altamente Pegável" - "Highly Pick-up-able". Later on, in the car ride back home, Andrezza repeated this to me and as we were both buckled over laughing about it, Vera calmly undertook to instruct us both in the concept of Altamente Pegável, saying, "Vou explicar as niveis." (I will explain the levels.) Which turned out to be:

1. De jeito nenhum. (No way / Under no circumstances.)
2. Feio. (Ugly)
3. Quase Feio. (Almost ugly.)
4. Normal. (Normal, or rather, "nor-MOW")
5. Bonito. (Pretty.)
6. Muito Bonito. (Very pretty.)
7. Lindo. (Lovely/beautiful. hm, interesting that Lindo is better than Bonito)
8. Altamente Pegável. (Highly Pick-Up-Able. Someone you'd definitely sleep with.)
9. Altamente Ficável. (Highly Stay-With-Able. Someone you'd actually live with.)
10. Nirvana.

See, you something new every day here! My favorite Portuguese lessons always come from my friends....

Later, after the scuba (which was fantastic!), we were all at a little corner shop having an açaí. A crazy man was wandering in and out of the shop - seriously, he seemed truly deranged, full of hallucinations and delusions. (He reminded me of the time I met the Devil in a coffeeshop in Seattle, or at least a fellow who believed he was the Devil.) He was chattering so fast and slurring his words so much that I couldn't quite make out what he was saying, but he seemed to be saying he was an international pilot who flew frequently to New York and who used to fly the Concorde. Okay...not that this is impossible, but, coming from a rather odd man in a tiny fishing town on the coast of Brazil, it seemed a bit unlikely. We must have looked skeptical, so the man asked Vera:

"So what are you then, a psychologist?"

And she said,

"No, I'm a circus acrobat."

Oh, the LOOK ON HIS FACE! He yelled "MENTIRA!!!" (Lie!), got extremely excited, went off on a huge rant and stormed out of the açaí shop.

The best thing was, she really is a circus acrobat! She was only telling the truth!

He wasn't too mad for long, though - he came running back in a few minutes later with a tiny portable radio held up to his ear, yelling "I AM DETECTING SIGNS OF LIFE!"

It was that kind of day. To sum it up... I was surrounded by strange and beautiful Brazilian wildlife all day.