my choro camp dilemma

One of my major goals this year was to really improve my pandeiro playing, but it's fallen by the wayside. It's turned out to be a season of caixa, repinique, surdo, tamborim - but not pandeiro. I've squeezed in a few lessons here and there, but without regular classes, and without a group to play with, my poor pandeiro has taken a back seat.

Pandeiro is a problem. I have worked hard on it over the last two and a half years, on and off. The "on and off" is because I go through maddening cycles of hand injuries with pandeiro. For such an innocuous-looking little tambourine, it's a real beast! It's notorious among percussionists as a "six-hours-a-day" instrument, a "two-year instrument". And the thing has teeth - I've had at least 11 pandeiro injuries. It took six months just to be able to hold the thing without pain. I've had bone bruises that took months to heal, four or five separate kinds of tendonitis, tiny strained hand muscles that I'd never known existed, nerve damage, persistent hand cramps, wrist trouble... each one put me out of commission for a month or more. All told, I've spent as much time not playing as I have playing!

Pandeiro's also emotionally loaded for me: associated with a lost friend, a pandeiro teacher who I still miss. The original reason that I came to Brazil was to simply look for other pandeiro teachers. When I first came to Brazil last year, all I had was a little red card with the names of 2 pandeiro teachers written on it: Marcos Suzano and Celso Silva. I didn't have any other information at all about Rio; I didn't even have a map, or even a guidebook. I didn't know anybody, had no contacts, spoke no Portuguese, had no friends here, came alone. Just had that little card with those two names. I bought my ticket, and got my visa, and quit my job. I tucked the little card into my passport and got on the plane.

That was a year and a half ago. The card is still tucked in my passport.

In retrospect, it was an idiotic thing to do. But that's how important pandeiro was to me, and that's how determined I was to keep going on it, and not let the loss of that one teacher stop me. Miraculously, I found both Suzano and Silva, and studied with them both. And I found other wonderful teachers too. I have had 10 great pandeiro teachers at this point (8 Brazilian, 2 American). I've been very lucky.

But more injuries happened. More time slipped away... Teachers got busy, disappeared. Caixa and third surdo started sucking up my time. And I can't practice! I've been living in an apartment where I can't make any noise, not even pandeiro. Eventually I found a nice spot outside to practice, but a guy started harassing me. The next week I switched to another spot, but another guy started harassing me. Later, I found a third spot that seemed safer. Under some trees, shielded from view. But then the rains started.... and didn't let up for a month.

So I'm out of practice, and frustrated!

I'm still chasing that ghost, wanting to be a Real Player and not just a "good student". I want to play for real. It's not exactly a practical thing to be working on - there's not any market for pandeiro in the US, and I doubt I'll ever even find a venue to play it. But still it keeps calling to me, and somehow I feel like, until I can really be a GOOD pandeiro player, REALLY good, I'll never be able to rest (and never be able to let that friend go). I've put so much time and heart into pandeiro. And it's such a cool little drum. I don't want to stop halfway.

So, here's my current dilemma. I have the opportunity, if I want, to go to the Escola Portatil's famous choro camp next week to study pandeiro 3 hours a day, for a week, with the great Celso Silva. At first I thought, whee!!! perfect!!! But then I realized - oh, why oh why does the camp have to be this next week, of all weeks of the entire year?? The week before Carnaval??? When all the escolas are having their last, biggest and best rehearsals? And all my groups, groups I've spent months playing with, will be deciding who can parade with them in Carnaval? And today I found out the choro camp is a ten-hour journey away. (one way!) so, there go two more days for travel....I'd miss all the weekend rehearsals.... goodbye Sao Clemente, goodbye Monobloco, goodbye Mocidade.

What to do?