Goofy-footer

I took the bus on Thursday down to the Rio Surf Tour hostel last week for some surfing lessons (www.riosurftour.com.br). It is, of course, ridiculous of me to think of learning to surf - a 41-year-old woman with bad knees, who can barely touch her toes, who has never surfed, skateboarded or snowboarded in her life? Come on. I wouldn't have ever thought of it if I hadn't been pulled into it last year by my skateboarder friend Justin and my Hawaiian friend Robyn, who both somehow thought it was normal to want to learn to paddle a skinny, wobbly board out into the ocean, push it onto a horrifyingly powerful wall of water, and then, for some reason, try to stand up on it.

But, once you're living in Rio, surfing starts to seem not so bizarre. You see all the kids with boards out on the beaches. You lie on the beach, look at them riding the waves, notice that it kinda looks fun. You see all the people with surfboards on their bicycles (yes, there are surfboard bike racks) and on the city buses, and even the subway. And the surfboards tucked behind sofas at friends' houses. As ordinary as having a bicycle.

Then, last year, Justin found Katrina's surf tour and told me about it - "There's this cool New Zealand chick who will come pick you up in her van; she picks up a bunch of people from all the hostels, and takes them all to the best beaches down south, for the whole day, and you can rent a board or take lessons." I said skeptically "Does she take total beginners?" and he said, yup, even total beginners. It turned out to be Katrina and Mauro of Rio Surf Tour (www.riosurftour.com.br). They've got a clever idea - go get people, and bring them to the best beaches. Because the best beaches are hard to get to, otherwise. And plus, they teach in English, and plus, you get to meet a bunch of other fun people and hang out with them all day.

Like I said, a clever idea. So I went along, and.... you know what.... it is actually possible to learn to surf!! Even me!

Here's how it works. Step 1, beach lesson. You practicing "paddling" on a surfboard that is lying on the sand, and then, practice the Great Mystery of surfing: standing up. In my first lesson, Katrina demonstrated with an impossible, graceful leap. She was lying flat, then, BOOM, she had somehow levitated into the air and landed on her two feet, crouched in a perfect balanced stance. She said "Just try it." I said, hopelessly, knowing I wouldn't be able to do it at all, "which foot should end up in back?" and she said "It'll come naturally to have either the right or the left back, but you won't know which till you try. Just try it." So I tried... I jumped.... hey, I was up!

"Goofy-foot!" she said. "You're a goofy-footer." Turns out that's the term for the peculiar people who like to have their left foot back, instead of their right. (I like the term!) She was right - it is just what comes naturally. I tried the other way and it felt all wrong.

We practiced over and over, a row of beginners, Kat or her boyfriend Mauro yelling "one, two, THREE!" and we'd all leap up on three. Much entertainment for the Brazilian beachgoers sitting nearby!

Phase 2 is, they take you out into the water. Here's where you learn about the exhausting, thrill-ride adventure of paddling through those endless waves, deciding how to get over or under each of them. Mostly, they're nice easy waves (because Mauro & Kat pick a spot that is good for beginners). But, the way waves are, every now and then a bigger one comes along, and that can be an adventure! Mauro sort of hurled me over two huge waves by himself, grabbing my board and anchoring it somehow, with his body weight, to get me over intact. Soon they start explaining some techniques for dealing with bigger waves: the turtle roll, the duck dive, and the last-ditch "just ditch your board and DIVE!"

This paddling-out part, with its imminent, panicky, exciting, endless confrontations with the oncoming waves, is definitely the exhausting part of surfing. Your arms are working nonstop. And if you get stuck in the wrong spot, just when a big bunch of waves comes through, you can get truly pounded. But I LOVED the paddling out. Actually, it's my favorite part! It was like a never-ending amusement park ride.

Phase 3, they push you onto a wave. A growl is coming behind you - a growl getting louder - your teacher says "This one, this one, ready, ready? Paddle! Paddle hard! Now! NOW!" - and he, or she, PUSHES your board and suddenly you're caught in that rumbling, roaring sound, the wave has caught you, and the wash of whitewater is all around you. It's only a little tiny baby wave, only three feet high, but it seems like the biggest, loudest thing you've ever heard in your life. And it's not remotely like it was on the sand, not at all - the board is shaking like crazy, and it's tipped, nose down, sliding endlessly down the wave, and it's like being in an earthquake, it's shaking so much, it's GOT you and it's zooming you along. You forget everything they said on the beach, and then think "oh yeah, I'm supposed to stand up" and you just randomly try to stand - and maybe you fall off instantly, or maybe you stand!

Suddenly it's over, the wave has somehow faded out. You have tipped off, somehow, you seem to be in the water. You clamber onto your board, paddle out again, find your teacher, who says "How did it go?" and you say "I fell off."

You try again, and again, and eventually - you're up! You're doing it! You're STANDING! You're flying along! Holy shit, you're SURFING! You cheer and wave your arms, and all the rest of the class, and your instructor too, cheers with you.

So, that's how it works.

Then eventually phase 4, you start catching your own waves. Phase 5, you suddenly decide you need your own board shorts and a rash shirt. Phase 6, you start shopping for a board! You are hooked.

Last year I only had three lessons and that was enough to get me to phase 6. But that was all I had time for, that year, and then I went back to Seattle (water way too cold, no thanks). I haven't been surfing at all since then - haven't even been swimming - so I thought I'd be starting from scratch this time.

So I decided to go spend a couple days at Katrina & Mauro's new hostel. A few months ago they bought a beautiful big house a couple blocks off Macumba beach (just behind the 8W surf shop). They somehow found a house that has 5 bathrooms for 10 beds - talk about your perfect house for a hostel! They've been working like crazy on it, painting it and fixing it up. It's got a huge kitchen, massive lounge, two porches, plenty of room for hammocks, beanbags, piles of surfboards, several guitars. A big yard, a friendly dog. Two blocks from Macumba beach. Spacious, clean and homey. And it feels like family. Kat is everybody's mom - she even saves breakfast for you if you sleep late.

I loved the hostel, stayed there several nights, & got 2 really good lessons, with Mauro this time (Kat is not teaching right now, because she's pregnant!) To my amazement, I DID remember how to do it, and it actually went better than ever before - I was suddenly standing up every time, and staying standing all the way in, and feeling super balanced. Rah.

I'm out of shape, though; I got exhausted super fast. Both days, I had to end the lesson a bit early when I suddenly hit a wall of exhaustion that was so absolute and sudden it was scary. Both times I was suddenly gasping for breath, and knew, if a big wave had come along just then, I would not have been able to deal with it. Once, I almost got caught in a rip current; once, I got stuck in the break zone for just a few minutes too long, got a little pounded, suddenly realized I was really, really, REALLY tired. That's the moment when you suddenly realize why people drown, and you suddenly know "I have to get back to shore NOW." Yikes! I gotta get into shape!

Last year, I asked Katrina how old is too old to learn to surf. She said, "Oh, you can always learn to surf! If you can stand up from the floor, you can learn to surf. I've taught 60-year-olds, I've taught all ages. " I asked, is there ever anyone who really can't learn at all. She said "Probably 95% of my students stand on the first lesson. Even if it's just for a moment. And pretty much all the rest, the other 5%, stand on the second lesson. I remember one girl who didn't want to stand - she was happy just lying on the board! I would push her onto the wave and she'd just coast all the way in, lying on her belly. She didn't want to do anything other than that. She had a good time, though, and that's what matters, y'know?"

Before Mauro took me out, Katrina gave him a quick rundown on what I'd done last year, and she surprised me a bit by describing me with: "She's got really good balance, she's good in the water, and she's not scared," (none of which I would have thought about myself.) I asked about the "good in the water". She explained, "Sometimes we get people who have no sense of water or how waves work, or how to balance. You got on the board, and you knew right away how to balance on it and how to paddle - you didn't have to think about it, did you? You just knew. You also knew how to know what a wave was about to do, like, you knew that the way to deal with a big wave is to dive right at it, dive under it. You grew up around water, right? You must have played at beaches when you were little. And you've bodyboarded. But some people, you wouldn't believe how clueless they can be! Maybe they grew up in the mountains or something, they've never even been in a canoe, they've never even SEEN a wave. They have no idea what a wave is or how it works. They sometimes can't even lie on the board - they just slide right off! Perfectly flat calm water, and they just tip right off of it, lying down! It doesn't occur to them to try to wiggle into the center of the board to stay balanced. So you have to slow way down with those students and explain basic stuff about balance and water and waves. But even they get it in the end."

I asked about the "not scared". She said "Oh yeah, some people get scared, definitely, especially a lot of the girls. The sight of the wave coming at them, the power it has. Those people, you'll see them at the end of a ride just sitting there, not trying to paddle back to you. You have to go fetch them, and it'll turn out they're scared about paddling back out again, and you have to talk them through it, show them what to do, help them find it fun instead of scary."

Katrina and Mauro then both added:

"The cool thing is, almost all those people, the clumsy ones, the scared ones, all of them, they all get it in the end. And they're SO excited at the end of the day. It's so rewarding to see someone learn to do it, especially if they were scared or intimidated at first, and hear them say at the end of the day, "I never ever thought I would do that in my entire life, and I did it!"